Sitting on park bench
trying to listen.
To the wind, the birds, the voices and playing children.
Sitting with the music of my surroundings.
But there is more.
Voices, chatter, talking.
Which I do not control.
Voices of judgement, explanations or associations.
Those voices come from the inside.
One voice in particular is the loudest.
The voice that is always trying to tell me about myself.
How I am or how i am not.
What I should do or what I should not.
This voice thinks.
This voice thinks it is always right.
Between right or wrong,
there is no place for being.
Between lost in thought and thinking,
there is no place for seeing.
Seeing what you are.
Not judging what you could have been.
Being who you are not trying to fit in.
Lives are lost by fitting yourself into a box.
Its like putting your being into a coffin.
Waiting for death without having lived.
Dying before truly living.
We think me must do certain things.
Like getting a degree or a job.
When in fact we first must choose ourselves before we put all of our dreams on a shelve waiting for the perfect moment that never comes.
Waiting for the right circumstances, waiting for other people, waiting for our fear to go away, waiting for retirement, waiting for our internal voice to change saying ‚you are ready!‘.
What if those things will never come?
What if you get to the end of life and realize you‘ve been waiting your whole entire life for something else than living what your soul has always wanted…
We are deluded by what we see around us.
While the only place we should look is inside.
Stripping away the layers of opinions of others.
Which is 99% of our self-talk.
Stripping away perfection.
Which is just the fear of being judged by those voices we internalized too much.
Stripping away of trying to be coherent in the eyes of others or being perceived in certain ways.
Which just comes out of the same source of everything above.
Not listing to oneself because we get told we are good enough, not ready yet, too much this and too much that.
The only voice that is true is deep within.
And maybe its not a voice, maybe it‘s music.
Listen to that melody of yours and dance how it feels right.
Not how it should look like.
Feeling over thinking.
Playing over judging.
Living over dying before ones body really dies.
There is not as much time as we think.
I saw too many people die before getting to the place they always wanted.
Too many „laters“ and not enough „nows“.
Live now or die for the rest of your life.