Inner War means Peace

No time to wander,

we have to get it (right).

No time to look around,

we have to move on.

But why we move,

if we cannot stop?

Why we hurry,

if we cannot enjoy?

Where do we need to be all the time,

when we never arrive?

Its the journey, love the process, you are never done...

What than is fulfilment, when fulfilment never comes?

Most of the stresses only come from time.

Not allowing myself to stop.

To wander and ponder about my direction, my place, my emotions.

Always on the run, means always on the hunt.

Never time to rest and digest.

Never time to let the dust settle.

Expectations of others, turning them towards oneself.

Responsibilities cry out for attention.

But being attentive to oneself, there is no time.

Time. Time. Time.

It takes the time, they say, whoever they are.

But the must they know, because they are they.

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Life's forces must not be turned against oneself.

Being a force of life won't come out of self-aggression.

Hatred against the way one feels, is one of the most powerful weapons people use against each other.

Blame and shame.

Not seeking to understand, but seeking to be egotistical, narcissistic and sometimes evil-spirited.

Whatever it means, it only does harm.

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Why do we need to grow up?

What's the point when everyone only wants to be loved and love.

We go around in circles through backdoors and valleys just to find out, that in the end there is nothing to find.

We already carried it with us the whole time.

But we fight battles, try to win, go into politics and earn money just for the simple fact to not feel so alone, not feel worthless.

Why then are we running around like ants, organising our lives around some shiny objects, just to in the end die without ever fully realising anything.

The only ending to this reality is not living.

But how can something be something that is nothing?

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Fear, doubt, insecurity, shame and grandiosity destroy and nourish at the same time. It creates room through the means of an inner war.

Nothing of that is real in the sense of being able to touch it. But its perception is the closest thing we encounter in regards to the brutal forces, which cloud our minds and darken our hearts.

Light, inner peace, calm, tranquility.

A life of joy and serenity.

The antidote to the war inside.

To be found in the exact same place that holds the battleground.

Somewhat of a contradiction...

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Is what has been described as the dark side, the soil on the fertile ground of peace?

Is the inner peace the land, the sky, the sun, the atmosphere in which weeds grow, to train our attention and develop our care for the land which we call our inner world?

Is it called upon us to cultivate our skills of farming and harvesting peace and to build our land as we wish.

Lies therein our responsibility to observe and to learn to navigate the never ending cycles of birth and death of the flowers and fruits that we chose to care for?

Some will let the weeds grow all over the place.

Maybe out of curiosity, because they favour weeds over flowers or just out of sheer disengagement with life.

Letting it all happen, not out of a buddhist monks' spirit, but out of not accepting that it will be a constant effort to deal with pain, discomfort, uncertainty and change.

That the weeds will come back some place else.

That they are called upon to rise to the occasion, constantly.

That they need to be aware.